AWE/mirror of heart

The cosmos plays us with illusion: it mirrors and inverts perception to draw us towards light, truth, unity... We want it, but first we must survive. We get the metaphor, just an old upside down one, then we sit on the record scratch and bump bump into illusion like big sweet babies. Inversion is a somewhat kinder road for the real to be revealed. Can we cultivate love and trust for our beloved nemesis/selves over the lash. What is it in the eye that reverses all things so carefully? Where the eye sees out, it looks in. Only through our receptiveness to what is, does the "mystery " vaporize. There is a Mystic's Awe that Multiplies. We were made from stars, and our potential is to be a vehicle for the cosmos, but most of us are hallucinating a lot of the time... We often wear our tomb stone around our neck like an albatross: Here lies [IWM]. Die before you die. Die to broken thoughts. Imagination brings us closer to and further from the real. Is it creative or is it separating. If i was that blind, how blind am i Now? Enter into some kind of communication with a larger reality. Drop some veils-(not all, please)- of the imagination. We are naked, together, slave and free, yet were afraid of XTC. Love is the intention behind the intention. "Stay the same. Change." Who's voice is that? Loosen the tourniquet on your heart. Do a head stand to see something different, be a fool and let the blood of the heart fill your head. Just don't be stupid. Time IS love and love is what is passing. Also will the music of this breath and heart beat. Make your house your home before you fly away.
( first entries are at the bottom- with a different format bc im not that technical!)


to be continued/ UNFINISHED BUSINESS

A confession, 
and some memories...12 years l8r
5 am biked home from the studio
sliver moon
and my back finally relaxing....
that which is crawling
out any window any morning
weave day into night into day
a dream we dream one afternoon
friend, sk
feel your way through
remember when.................. as old as the hills, the everlasting hills
a long history, and where it all began, SIL SIL
felt like summer rain
shed our skin, and
be born again
that first path, is never ending
he polished the blade...
  this rad psychadellic painting .of a carpet ride/ web of life.. dna detunh eht fo sraet.........rof u knaht HF
wo to the vanquished ( haaapbh haaapbh blaaah blaaah pbh pbhblaaah, clear the air)
flowers will blossom
again and again and again and again...............................
all the honey bees 8 1
to fill the air..... U KNOW THAT QUARRY IS HAUNTED...
shed a skin and be born again
and fall like summer rain, ok
cycles and cycles when the spirit captures you to return, chapters
eve, sk
so what is this all about... what a week, i was seized with the" i must paint my apartment now bug". Preparing for something, miss sissel bee????   Now, its a very pale pink and a little green...china town baroque.... road trip to a haunted quarry in Mass.... swimming there, photographing girls and flowers water and trees, reminded me so much of my California retreats, i threw my back out... no not by hot yoga, the other stuff , working hard hunched over in studio on some beautiful drawings... realized i was being cranky to a friend Ive known since 77, yup... it did not add up/ upon some introspection discovered that i never explained why i walked out of co-habititating  in 1999.  I was living out in Colorado where i first started painting "myself"or character in the woods. The landscape there can be other worldly and i was uber inspired.  I left with" it is too cold and i need to get back to NYC", but there was Much MOre,  it's a family affair, so to speak...A testament to how much one can grow once committed to it, but also better to clean under the rug.  While painting i found a lot of things. A box of photographs fell on my head, open the box, out stretches time or something like Psychic phenomenon...spirits unleashed.  healing the past.  Enough on that.  Norway incident reminded me of Raskolnikov in "Crime and Punishment", Rascal...just wrong.  I saw my dear dear friend, Katie Galloway's film,"BETTER THIS WORLD" which also dealt with a disassociated narcissist who takes it upon himself to be a hero of sorts, alienating himself from his community/ identity..a so called activist becomes a fbi informer...identity issues, maybe? Extremes are suspect. One of my favorite quotes goes   "Blasphemy is closer to faith than indifference."or maybe "Me thinks he protests too much"is more accurate.  Mars out of bounds...  Eros verses Agape....Anyway PLZ see the film at IFC aug 12-18... She is a great journalist, and the psychological perspective and documentation/ story is fascinating... The title itself speaks volumes regarding intention. Been listening a lot to "little Black Angel, Tears of the Hunted and some Grtful Dead, more things resurrected from the past, thanks to a generous inspiring friend.  I grew up in Berkeley, there it was about good music more than "Im a hippy or goth or hip hop  reggae, punk..."  All good so long as the music is right,  harmony of hearts, messages received... came out of Regan years so it was kinda simple, just remembering now, when mtv just came out and comparing that bounty to the abundance on youtube..We did not have cable....Soooooooo WHY ARE WE HERE? TO EVOLVE, TO GIVE, TO LOVE, TO REMEMBER.   AW RIP, sorry you did not make it through, she'll go back to hers. Late July I have 2 major anniversaries of change/ steps to be more a part of life, THE CHAIN OF LIGHT, the Silsilla.  Ya Hu! AL HAK!