AWE/mirror of heart

The cosmos plays us with illusion: it mirrors and inverts perception to draw us towards light, truth, unity... We want it, but first we must survive. We get the metaphor, just an old upside down one, then we sit on the record scratch and bump bump into illusion like big sweet babies. Inversion is a somewhat kinder road for the real to be revealed. Can we cultivate love and trust for our beloved nemesis/selves over the lash. What is it in the eye that reverses all things so carefully? Where the eye sees out, it looks in. Only through our receptiveness to what is, does the "mystery " vaporize. There is a Mystic's Awe that Multiplies. We were made from stars, and our potential is to be a vehicle for the cosmos, but most of us are hallucinating a lot of the time... We often wear our tomb stone around our neck like an albatross: Here lies [IWM]. Die before you die. Die to broken thoughts. Imagination brings us closer to and further from the real. Is it creative or is it separating. If i was that blind, how blind am i Now? Enter into some kind of communication with a larger reality. Drop some veils-(not all, please)- of the imagination. We are naked, together, slave and free, yet were afraid of XTC. Love is the intention behind the intention. "Stay the same. Change." Who's voice is that? Loosen the tourniquet on your heart. Do a head stand to see something different, be a fool and let the blood of the heart fill your head. Just don't be stupid. Time IS love and love is what is passing. Also will the music of this breath and heart beat. Make your house your home before you fly away.
( first entries are at the bottom- with a different format bc im not that technical!)



The way out is the way in.
primordial ooze
splitting defense and
... body paint
a quote!
"mystery and manifestations
arise from the same source.
This source is called darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gateway to all understanding"

-Lao Tzu, fifth century 
kinda like black is first light...



 When I speak of femininity w fortitude, I mean inner fortitude, authenticity.  Beauty has a full range, and is subjective like human concepts of truth and what is feminine or masculine, FOR INSTANCE. 
  Kierkegaard spoke of the human condition and the duality between self and body (mental/physical).
  Then Kant, how do we know ourselves when we mentally construct reality? This picture we call reality out there 'in nature' is constructed... (isn't it beautiful).  SO With regards to INNIES AND OUTIES or more specifically the internal vs external, (not just parts), OUTTER: We understand behavior to be learned and character moreover is considered a defense(S.F.). Emotions, though useful, constantly change, we feel them INTERNALLY VIA The body, which on the other hand, occupies space and time, the here and now and is available for immediate consultation unless inebriated. We negotiate this ambiguity of what is the real thing via the body.Body as bridge, body as reality check. Many say we are not our body, but it is a good indicator of sensation. The fallible flesh is also a location where we can protest the confines of the imposed ready made reality. The body is  the reminder of the contradiction between freedom and fate and as fate has it, constantly morphing and adjusting responding to context.   
So, with regards to identity, human sexuality can be seen as a arena of play where we make meaning based on our own subjective experiences. In the expression of gender, sex, we playfully contradict ideologies while simultaneously via this marriage of the body (sex) and  intellect/imagination (make art), and temporarily defy anxiety(i did not say defeat) the inevitable.  We use the body to escape the body.
Is not the creative act, referred to as a healthy defense (sublimation)? Architecting interior Truth helps quell  natural anxiety.  Creative flexible signifiers of sex/gender are of vital importance in building whole selves (egos). In this creative self exploration/ expression of degrees of masculine and feminine,  the father of himself and the mother of herself or a mix of the two emerges. "Creative thinking results in a sense of inner wealth" referring to Schopenhauer's What Man Is (Yalom, I, The schopenhauer cure,p. 322) I am not referring to this solely in the obvious physical transgender incarnations that manifest themselves to make this point more obvious and palatable to us, but also to the nuances of what freedom means to men as well as women in individual, non hedonistic ways, but in becoming real......So, back to Either/OR, self and body... Adopting a ''''male''''' or ''female" stance is LOPSIDED. Aligning with the father when accompanied by rejecting the mother is seen (Brown) as a defense against the FEAR OF DEATH. The oedipal complex resolution re worked (Brown).  In this view, the mother, in her creativity, represents LIFE (which means death) and all its uncomfortable corporeal realities. Dad, on the other hand, represents freedom and intellect. So, what is it if we maintain this stance, calling ourselves feminists but adopting what has been a male ready made anyway.  The more freedom we have to be real, the less stance we will adopt,the more we create, then maybe the abyss will be something we can address more directly. Im not dissing anyone (myself included) who has adopted variations of the male "stance"as it seems like the more freeing of the two if you have to SPLIT and choose. All I am saying is Pro Fem is very much about 'trying on' Both And. We are ready move to beyond splitting defense...and not be boring, just BE.
Before I return to the shaman recordings of the heroic Sel'k Nam, photos below, One more story comes to mind regarding fixed identity. Its jungian and about balancing archetypes: A mother concerned with being all mother forgets the daughter she once was, and inso doing hoards all the mother qualities within herself. Her daughter is consequently prevented from developing the mother in herself and remains only a daughter...I don't know how the rest of the story manifests, but the point is fluid identity is important. 
In science mental illness is predictable,(rigid) where as health is less predictable (fluid). Gender is a social construction, an agreement. However it is Still not fixed though its very human to resist change and maintain equilibrium and so completely natural for us to keep doing the same things. Often the structure is what is causing the problems, that is, if you think there is a problem? X SIZZLE