SIZZLE ME SISSEL KARDEL: BLACK FEELING/SO TAO

Wandering holograms

Visions from this life or another reflect distort and invert perception. We may want freedom from the known but to fathom freedom is begin to remember. To remember is to grieve, then maybe see.

An exquisite corpse of impressions course through our lives, an art work entity, a ghost in the machine, driving the machine, relatively polite until analyzed. We set up shop in the impression careening into the same pattern.

To evolve is an option. As the tree is bent, so grows the branch. What glories come with pruning. A contortion becoming.

You, the one who has contemplated loss are easy to sit with. Integrated insight is exquisite life. To trust, we must become trustworthy. The inside eye reverses carefully. Where the eye sees out, it looks in.

Like an allergy, we crave what is inside of us. Crave it like a poison puzzle. Wanting to solve and expel. Everything with in us that we do not love will become an enemy to us. A loss in translation can become a shared psychosis, activating. Enactments repeat multi-generationally. Be still, slow down, nothing is real, but everything is potentially more than this.

We long to return to the garden. Where everything was magical and treacherous. To be small and dependent. How many generations of brokenness does there have to be before you ask for help with tenderness. Real adult life can be a garden that you may walk into or away from, a place of freedom, fruitful, loving. The tether pull is an old devotion that keeps us children - basked and suspended in the afterglow of melancholy. Convincing others is a reversed devotion - to ward off deep untold grief, and very oral. All themes are mutations of the same thing, until we give up the ghost. The content is old. Developmentally delayed devotions. To no longer seek paradise past, is to become paradise present. We, guilty, wear our tomb stone around our neck: "Here lies my expectation (see I was right)". Eternally repairing and repeating heartache until death. My expectation dovetails with yours so fluidly, dangerously. WHY do you think it's so exciting to meet and greet another solitude? It's not to become a martyr, but to join and transcend.

If you can partner w a friend on this road, Where you stumble, you will find your treasure.

People aren't motivated to grow w/o the growing pains in love. Confusing love with pain conflates this. Die before you die is to die to the obsession of mastering the past (all by yourself). Remember you are half-blind.

Once blinded, know you will be blind again. In order to trust, become trustworthy. Love is the intention behind the intention. Voices from the museum, recite the script. The readymade knows how to make the neptunian mirage beautiful as it hurts. Surrender, and give yourself thee love you need. The pain to receive, is to grieve, but you must. What you grieve is beyond the content. It is being bound in a body which denies.

We all hide behind something, no matter how noble. The veils and blocks are there for a reason, they don't need to be ripped off- rather dissolved. If not, they will come back or be passed on. The unworked past pushes into the present. Do you really want to be alone inside? Die before you die. Imagine. If cultivating love is the only path to enlightenment, then how many of us are lost. Love is the ultimate loss of control. None of us want to be bound, and yet.... so so bound. Listen. Loosen the tourniquet on your heart. Suck the air of XTC. Be still. Do a headstand, like the fool lets the blood of the heart fill the head. Time IS love and love is what is passing. Everything is passing. Take care of yourself. Make your house you're home before you fly away.

CLICK ON EACH BLOG ARCHIVE in the cue, as it will otherwise stop short.

i.e, 2020C'EST COMME CA, The Canyon, Green Waves and a Dot, Space, Nest...

FOR ONLY ART GO TO
ART BLOG: SISSEL KARDEL ART, ILLUSTRATION
http://sisselkardelart.blogspot.com/2012/04/painting.html

1.17.2013

BLACK FEELING/SO TAO

The way out is the way in.
primordial ooze
mud
blood
paint
splitting defense and
... body paint
a quote!
"mystery and manifestations
arise from the same source.
This source is called darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gateway to all understanding"

-Lao Tzu, fifth century

kinda like black is first light...

TRY ON BOTH AND

When I speak of femininity w fortitude, I mean inner fortitude, authenticity. Beauty has a full range, and is subjective like human concepts of truth and what is feminine or masculine, FOR INSTANCE.

Kierkegaard spoke of the human condition and the duality between self and body (mental/physical).

Then Kant, how do we know ourselves when we mentally construct reality? This picture we call reality out there 'in nature' is constructed... (isn't it beautiful). SO With regards to INNIES AND OUTIES or more specifically the internal vs external, (not just parts), OUTTER: We understand behavior to be learned and character moreover is considered a defense(S.F.). Emotions, though useful, constantly change, we feel them INTERNALLY VIA The body, which on the other hand, occupies space and time, the here and now and is available for immediate consultation unless inebriated. We negotiate this ambiguity of what is the real thing via the body.Body as bridge, body as reality check. Many say we are not our body, but it is a good indicator of sensation. The fallible flesh is also a location where we can protest the confines of the imposed ready made reality. The body is the reminder of the contradiction between freedom and fate and as fate has it, constantly morphing and adjusting responding to context.

So, with regards to identity, human sexuality can be seen as a arena of play where we make meaning based on our own subjective experiences. In the expression of gender, sex, we playfully contradict ideologies while simultaneously via this marriage of the body (sex) and intellect/imagination (make art), and temporarily defy anxiety(i did not say defeat) the inevitable. We use the body to escape the body.

Is not the creative act, referred to as a healthy defense (sublimation)? Architecting interior Truth helps quell natural anxiety. Creative flexible signifiers of sex/gender are of vital importance in building whole selves (egos). In this creative self exploration/ expression of degrees of masculine and feminine, the father of himself and the mother of herself or a mix of the two emerges. "Creative thinking results in a sense of inner wealth" referring to Schopenhauer's What Man Is. (Yalom, I, The schopenhauer cure,p. 322) I am not referring to this solely in the obvious physical transgender incarnations that manifest themselves to make this point more obvious and palatable to us, but also to the nuances of what freedom means to men as well as women in individual, non hedonistic ways, but in becoming real......So, back to Either/OR, self and body... Adopting a ''''male''''' or ''female" stance is LOPSIDED. Aligning with the father when accompanied by rejecting the mother is seen (Brown) as a defense against the FEAR OF DEATH. The oedipal complex resolution re worked (Brown). In this view, the mother, in her creativity, represents LIFE (which means death) and all its uncomfortable corporeal realities. Dad, on the other hand, represents freedom and intellect. So, what is it if we maintain this stance, calling ourselves feminists but adopting what has been a male ready made anyway. The more freedom we have to be real, the less stance we will adopt,the more we create, then maybe the abyss will be something we can address more directly. Im not dissing anyone (myself included) who has adopted variations of the male "stance"as it seems like the more freeing of the two if you have to SPLIT and choose. All I am saying is Pro Fem is very much about 'trying on' Both And. We are ready move to beyond splitting defense...and not be boring, just BE.

Before I return to the shaman recordings of the heroic Sel'k Nam, photos below, One more story comes to mind regarding fixed identity. Its jungian and about balancing archetypes: A mother concerned with being all mother forgets the daughter she once was, and inso doing hoards all the mother qualities within herself. Her daughter is consequently prevented from developing the mother in herself and remains only a daughter...I don't know how the rest of the story manifests, but the point is fluid identity is important.
In science mental illness is predictable,(rigid) where as health is less predictable (fluid). Gender is a social construction, an agreement. However it is Still not fixed though its very human to resist change and maintain equilibrium and so completely natural for us to keep doing the same things. Often the structure is what is causing the problems, that is, if you think there is a problem? X SIZZLE