suicide sux. I've thought a lot about the subject lately because i have also been thinking about ghosts.
I've said before that ghosts are energy caught in a pattern. They are like a broken record. They keep skipping over the scratch, that is, the trauma. Prematurely dead, they are stuck because they are confused/covered veiled (BOO) if you will and keep running around in circles where something is amiss, and the place feels charged, and creepy. (burnt toast?) Confounded by the strangers in their place, they protest in weird out bursts and attempts to be seen, "why is no one is listening to me!!!" Everything comes to the light. Its traumatic for the spirit to accept that in one second its over (the physical death, that is) - over here. I don't know about there. I think this is what happens to people who die violently/lamely. We are use to having choices even when we think we have none. They get stuck as ghosts, similar to victims of trauma are for some time unable to see the truth. They need a lot!!!! Time and some very patient loving guides to help them move on. i tell my friends who are screwing around with their health,'' PLEASE, I would like to see you again in another place/ time/ life, DON'T BECOME A GHOST.'' Who knows how long you could be stuck! (last resort: appeal to eternity.) Everything, especially mood and circumstance change. IT CAN BE WORK to cultivate a lightness of being, if your not use to it. Don't disappear, indulge in anything that's good. I think i must in some way be afraid of disappearing right now, when i know i am just going down into the valley for a bit. I get heavy when my friends are negative because that is BORING/ BEIGE. Negativity/death is boring especially if you linger there. Also, sometimes I am doing my Best to stay light myself...even me. Bah. If your mad, admit it and Move along soldiers. 'Death' is beautiful when we have a thousand little deaths in life, and many rebirths, burning away limited selves. Whenever I have wanted to DIE it was that i wanted to change. Die to an old self / idea, identity or WANT. In some ways it was a fear of freedom, making new decisions bc i out grew the old. (terrible 2s) What will happen if i don't get what I "want"? Usually I end up w something better- so far, Its been better when i trust that life is bigger than me. Its hard to do when we are spinning our wheels and stuck in a rut, gripping. SO i remind myself to move a muscle, change a thought.
Now, looking at his old rad cover i read a lot more into the image. Its so easy to spin a tale. His lyrics and sound were really pretty and sad, but good. I don't want to talk about someone i don't know, but its hard to not feel sad or reel from the violence of any kind of suicide. This guy had health issues, and ''did not want to be a burden on his wife''...Who am I to wonder, did he feel that way about everything... or am I projecting? Its amazing if we can contribute some beauty back to the world, especially when we are caught in the mirror, but sooner or later we gotta get out. Bikram says on a CD i've been practicing along with," We have nothing to lose because we never had anything anyway; life and death are the same..." Life is a chance to evolve. Alone but not alone, we share on borrowed everything. Maybe your karma yoga station is to make pretty music and develop sound for one of the dopest bands ever and then maybe it morphs into some 12 other creative things that come back together as another art form. Maybe its to be annoying and remind people what they don't like. HI! People always want people to stay the same. All we are really here for is to GET to know ourselves, that is the evolution, and the letting go. Through that we understand the world, the way things are, and can should must look out and share it with friends... then The Friends can mirror it back and coax us in love.
|death and rebirth|
|sweet songs once sung|
if you loved once you can love again
its from you to you
it was always you
|come play mit me|
get out of your cave
|beat the worms, be in the world|
|there is so much|
|Alone but not alone, we share on borrowed everything.|
|before the wedding with the Real|
|the valley is not so bad|
|its all too fast to be a gripper.|
|like water off a ducks back|
|HERE WE GO|