SIZZLE ME SISSEL KARDEL: A SENTIMENTAL LADY

Wandering holograms

Visions from this life or another reflect distort and invert perception. We may want freedom from the known but to fathom freedom is begin to remember. To remember is to grieve, then maybe see.

An exquisite corpse of impressions course through our lives, an art work entity, a ghost in the machine, driving the machine, relatively polite until analyzed. We set up shop in the impression careening into the same pattern.

To evolve is an option. As the tree is bent, so grows the branch. What glories come with pruning. A contortion becoming.

You, the one who has contemplated loss are easy to sit with. Integrated insight is exquisite life. To trust, we must become trustworthy. The inside eye reverses carefully. Where the eye sees out, it looks in.

Like an allergy, we crave what is inside of us. Crave it like a poison puzzle. Wanting to solve and expel. Everything with in us that we do not love will become an enemy to us. A loss in translation can become a shared psychosis, activating. Enactments repeat multi-generationally. Be still, slow down, nothing is real, but everything is potentially more than this.

We long to return to the garden. Where everything was magical and treacherous. To be small and dependent. How many generations of brokenness does there have to be before you ask for help with tenderness. Real adult life can be a garden that you may walk into or away from, a place of freedom, fruitful, loving. The tether pull is an old devotion that keeps us children - basked and suspended in the afterglow of melancholy. Convincing others is a reversed devotion - to ward off deep untold grief, and very oral. All themes are mutations of the same thing, until we give up the ghost. The content is old. Developmentally delayed devotions. To no longer seek paradise past, is to become paradise present. We, guilty, wear our tomb stone around our neck: "Here lies my expectation (see I was right)". Eternally repairing and repeating heartache until death. My expectation dovetails with yours so fluidly, dangerously. WHY do you think it's so exciting to meet and greet another solitude? It's not to become a martyr, but to join and transcend.

If you can partner w a friend on this road, Where you stumble, you will find your treasure.

People aren't motivated to grow w/o the growing pains in love. Confusing love with pain conflates this. Die before you die is to die to the obsession of mastering the past (all by yourself). Remember you are half-blind.

Once blinded, know you will be blind again. In order to trust, become trustworthy. Love is the intention behind the intention. Voices from the museum, recite the script. The readymade knows how to make the neptunian mirage beautiful as it hurts. Surrender, and give yourself thee love you need. The pain to receive, is to grieve, but you must. What you grieve is beyond the content. It is being bound in a body which denies.

We all hide behind something, no matter how noble. The veils and blocks are there for a reason, they don't need to be ripped off- rather dissolved. If not, they will come back or be passed on. The unworked past pushes into the present. Do you really want to be alone inside? Die before you die. Imagine. If cultivating love is the only path to enlightenment, then how many of us are lost. Love is the ultimate loss of control. None of us want to be bound, and yet.... so so bound. Listen. Loosen the tourniquet on your heart. Suck the air of XTC. Be still. Do a headstand, like the fool lets the blood of the heart fill the head. Time IS love and love is what is passing. Everything is passing. Take care of yourself. Make your house you're home before you fly away.

CLICK ON EACH BLOG ARCHIVE in the cue, as it will otherwise stop short.

i.e, 2020C'EST COMME CA, The Canyon, Green Waves and a Dot, Space, Nest...

FOR ONLY ART GO TO
ART BLOG: SISSEL KARDEL ART, ILLUSTRATION
http://sisselkardelart.blogspot.com/2012/04/painting.html

6.07.2012

A SENTIMENTAL LADY

R.I.P BobW ( I'm NOT DONE YET)

"You are here and warm, but I could look away and you'd be gone... sentimental gentle wind blowing through my life again..."
suicide sux. I've thought a lot about the subject lately because i have also been thinking about ghosts.
I've said before that ghosts are energy caught in a pattern. They are like a broken record. They keep skipping over the scratch, that is, the trauma. Prematurely dead, they are stuck because they are confused/covered veiled (BOO) if you will and keep running around in circles where something is amiss, and the place feels charged, and creepy. (burnt toast?) Confounded by the strangers in their place, they protest in weird out bursts and attempts to be seen, "why is no one is listening to me!!!" Everything comes to the light. Its traumatic for the spirit to accept that in one second its over (the physical death, that is) - over here. I don't know about there. I think this is what happens to people who die violently/lamely. We are use to having choices even when we think we have none. They get stuck as ghosts, similar to victims of trauma are for some time unable to see the truth. They need a lot!!!! Time and some very patient loving guides to help them move on. i tell my friends who are screwing around with their health,'' PLEASE, I would like to see you again in another place/ time/ life, DON'T BECOME A GHOST.'' Who knows how long you could be stuck! (last resort: appeal to eternity.) Everything, especially mood and circumstance change. IT CAN BE WORK to cultivate a lightness of being, if your not use to it. Don't disappear, indulge in anything that's good. I think i must in some way be afraid of disappearing right now, when i know i am just going down into the valley for a bit. I get heavy when my friends are negative because that is BORING/ BEIGE. Negativity/death is boring especially if you linger there. Also, sometimes I am doing my Best to stay light myself...even me. Bah. If your mad, admit it and Move along soldiers. 'Death' is beautiful when we have a thousand little deaths in life, and many rebirths, burning away limited selves. Whenever I have wanted to DIE it was that i wanted to change. Die to an old self / idea, identity or WANT. In some ways it was a fear of freedom, making new decisions bc i out grew the old. (terrible 2s) What will happen if i don't get what I "want"? Usually I end up w something better- so far, Its been better when i trust that life is bigger than me. Its hard to do when we are spinning our wheels and stuck in a rut, gripping. SO i remind myself to move a muscle, change a thought.
Now, looking at his old rad cover i read a lot more into the image. Its so easy to spin a tale. His lyrics and sound were really pretty and sad, but good. I don't want to talk about someone i don't know, but its hard to not feel sad or reel from the violence of any kind of suicide. This guy had health issues, and ''did not want to be a burden on his wife''...Who am I to wonder, did he feel that way about everything... or am I projecting? Its amazing if we can contribute some beauty back to the world, especially when we are caught in the mirror, but sooner or later we gotta get out. Bikram says on a CD i've been practicing along with," We have nothing to lose because we never had anything anyway; life and death are the same..." Life is a chance to evolve. Alone but not alone, we share on borrowed everything. Maybe your karma yoga station is to make pretty music and develop sound for one of the dopest bands ever and then maybe it morphs into some 12 other creative things that come back together as another art form. Maybe its to be annoying and remind people what they don't like. HI! People always want people to stay the same. All we are really here for is to GET to know ourselves, that is the evolution, and the letting go. Through that we understand the world, the way things are, and can should must look out and share it with friends... then The Friends can mirror it back and coax us in love.

w.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcGj6BSRQ2Y