AWE/mirror of heart

The cosmos plays us with illusion: it mirrors and inverts perception to draw us towards light, truth, unity... We want it, but first we must survive. We get the metaphor, just an old upside down one, then we sit on the record scratch and bump bump into illusion like big sweet babies. Inversion is a somewhat kinder road for the real to be revealed. Can we cultivate love and trust for our beloved nemesis/selves over the lash. What is it in the eye that reverses all things so carefully? Where the eye sees out, it looks in. Only through our receptiveness to what is, does the "mystery " vaporize. There is a Mystic's Awe that Multiplies. We were made from stars, and our potential is to be a vehicle for the cosmos, but most of us are hallucinating a lot of the time... We often wear our tomb stone around our neck like an albatross: Here lies [IWM]. Die before you die. Die to broken thoughts. Imagination brings us closer to and further from the real. Is it creative or is it separating. If i was that blind, how blind am i Now? Enter into some kind of communication with a larger reality. Drop some veils-(not all, please)- of the imagination. We are naked, together, slave and free, yet were afraid of XTC. Love is the intention behind the intention. "Stay the same. Change." Who's voice is that? Loosen the tourniquet on your heart. Do a head stand to see something different, be a fool and let the blood of the heart fill your head. Just don't be stupid. Time IS love and love is what is passing. Also will the music of this breath and heart beat. Make your house your home before you fly away.
( first entries are at the bottom- with a different format bc im not that technical!)


the dust of the way

 Good bye to the shake of the dogs.......Still finding myself in California by a series of unexpected events arriving in the place of open space, letting go and finding gratitude to whatever is here, and why ever i am here. Well thats a question!!! This golden land feels like a quick sand... A lovely one, maybe this is why i dreamed David Bowie winked at me last night.  I have given up trying to figure out why I am still here before another event happens, one just builds on the last.  I left NYC mid december for the holidays returning to loved ones and intent upon a passage to india for a Very important and beautiful wedding.  It has been a long good bye,  a beautiful reconciliation of past and future.  Attending to each moment, the only option.  I received a pewter box on my birthday from my grandmother which read " tutto e possible" Quite a message, as she died that day.  She is the second of my grandmothers to pass on my birthday.  The women in my lineage have much to learn from eachother, and i see it as an emblem of that tie. Anyway, the funeral/ her passing  kept me from going to the wedding/India, and i stayed on.  Mid January to Feb has been a roller coaster of day to day grown up significant adjustments/ markers of change progress, acceptance, a broken arm, an agreement, a bridge, an introduction, windows into the past observing myself as a child, reconciling effects of the 4th commandment, time w a sick friend, children, my own creativity, health and acting as a "midwife" to a beloved dying dog. The dog, Juliette was just as much the Wali, companion, escort to me as i was to her.  Why is it that we bond to dearly to some animals? Her passing flushed more tears from my face: the source of the hidden waterfall, or longest river!!!!  T.S. Eliot said:  What we call the beginning is often the end, and to make an end is to make a beginning.  I asked her a few times before she left to please come again. If not its all perfect because we were there for each other, as we are all here for each other in different forms and at different times; one steps in when another steps out.  So, I am still here preparing for a small surgery, one necessary but mild, another hook to keep me here a little longer with dear ones and to keep meditating on the goodness here.  I can ask why but i know the moment I think I have it answered it morphs into another and another. Hoping that will resolve the issue. I miss you New York, and I'll be back as soon as I am free, called by the grains of golden sand for now.  Wait for the early owl, if you do not come too close, if you do not come too close.

Selena, the moon, like a flower in heavens high bower

Juliette, a Wali... <3

bosom buddy

in every thorn bush are thousands, polish the glass 

the blink of an eye
The Sea's Lips, and sound of the sea bells ( painting rex S)

like old times

via jungle like paths

to the meadow ( i pass this sweet meadow on my way to the ridge i walk)
shadows like clouds passing

Hi sissel kardel 2003
last of the goldies, sisselkardel 

(long time no see), sissel kardel 2002

"a murder of crows"
through the unknown remembered gate
acacia everywhere
the ridge
bougie euphoria
we goin to see the freakies
leggo my eggo